Great insults of history

[vettecat]

I've heard some of these before, but they're still worth sharing...

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend ... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in reply

"A sheep in sheep's clothing."
- Winston Churchill, on Clement Atlee

"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened."
- Winston Churchill, on Stanley Baldwin

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
- Dorothy Parker

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
- Dorothy Parker

"She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
- Dorothy Parker, speaking of Katherine Hepburn


"The love affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature."
- Dorothy Parker


"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."
- Dorothy Parker


"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

Comments

[c1.livejournal.com]

Thanks. My monitor almost took a tea-bath.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Careful - don't waste the tea! (Glad you enjoyed it!)

[thirdworld.livejournal.com]

Nice post!

Forgot this famous one by Winston Churchill:
Lady Astor: "Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee."
Winston: "Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it."

And that great genius of insulting himself and his family, Rodney Dangerfield:
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

The Astor/Churchill exchange is one of my favorites! I don't think I'd heard the Dangerfield line before, though - thanks!

[kressel.livejournal.com]

LOL, especially to the exchange between Churchill and Shaw!

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they don't make 'em like that anymore, it seems...